I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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