I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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