perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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