i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
no you cant smoke seaweed
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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