She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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