i don't like sucking hair
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
the day after is always just damage control
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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