i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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