their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
