yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
