Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
