He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
