We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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