I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
