Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's shark week go big or go home
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
