Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
