Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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