So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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