So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
