Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
FUCK WHALES
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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