you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize