This dress was meant to end up on your floor
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
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The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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