Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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