i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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