Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I smell like Dick and happiness
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
