I heard we made out
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
