just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
