The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
