Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
