please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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