Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
