If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
