5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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