About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
