The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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