good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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