Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
