I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
