We need to rekindle our bromance
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The power of my boobs compel you
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
