ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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