maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
