Just took my morning after pill in the library
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
