dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
