So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
