are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
