Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
