Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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