On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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