I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
