Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
