Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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