To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
