it's too hot outside to masturbate.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
