id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
