Even my vagina gasped.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
