Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
