His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize