and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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