its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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