i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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