highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize