Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
