I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize