these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
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There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
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I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize