So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
