I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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