I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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