It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
